Some Thoughts after Ordination
Ven. Sonam Yeshe ©
Our friend Lydie, now Ven. Sonam Yeshe, became a sramanerika (novice nun) in France and wrote this to her Dharma teachers and friends just after the ordination ceremony.
I am so grateful for all the material and psychological support I received from you, for your rejoicing, encouragement, precious advices and prayers. I am always so surprised in the multiple ways people can express their kindness. It reminds me how wrong I am in my habit to be cautious, or even frightened, vis-à-vis people I know, not to say vis-à-vis strangers. Because everybody is like me – no one wants to suffer and everyone is looking for happiness – and thus all of us are capable of the kindest expressions of love, friendship and compassion.
I choose what seems to me to be the best way to achieve happiness and to become able to really benefit others. Ordaining as a monastic filled up this big hole I had in my life – this huge empty space populated by fear and depression, which are the main voices of my anger and attachment – and gives me now a substantial tool to help me work on my mind and fight my demons. I feel protected and reassured and found a deep strength and confidence in committing myself. Even through the numerous obstacles I am currently facing, my relatives sense this genuine happiness in my mind and benefit from it.
I never forget that my real boss now is the Buddha! And my first duty is to keep my vows as pure as possible in this Western life. That's how I wanted to thank you: promising to do my best for the benefit of all. I don't have anything more precious to offer.
May the Dharma be prosperous and all our precious Teachers benefit from a long and healthy life! May all sentient beings achieve their ultimate wish to be free from suffering and established in an everlasting happiness!