Vajrasattva Retreat 2005:

On 5 January 2005, a three-month Vajrasattva Retreat was held at Sravasti Abbey. During the retreat, each morning the participants took turns leading their fellow retreatants in cultivating a good motivation for their meditation that day. You may want to read one of these motivations each morning to inspire your practice

Motivations by Aida Jimenez - Mar 6, 2005

The inmate that I've written to, recommended by our dear teacher, is B. F., the same one who week after week allows us to reflect on our own attachments; as well as our practice.

In the last card I sent him a few weeks ago, I tried to tell him (and during the process I also clarified it for myself) what it means to be a "Buddhist." This came about because he mentioned in his letter he didn't know weather to call himself a Buddhist or not. So this is the definition I gave him:

"Being a Buddhist means to battle our real enemy- the self-centeredness, who completely accepts and rejects things which seam pleasant or unpleasant."

Since I mailed the letter I felt a little off about that definition. I don't know… there was something I didn't really like about it. Later, with the non-negotionables and negotionable attachments, the thought arose again. Even so that now I'm trying to clarify that sensation and label it and I'm having difficulties.

It could be that that definition is too cold and technical for someone like me. Someone who has had to work hard to cherish, learn and practice, happily this proposed Buddhist revolution. For someone who after 15 years of practice finds herself not only having non-negotionable attachments, (like the ones of a man who doesn't know whether to call himself a Buddhist) but she hasn't even attempted to accept them and work with them as such:

So, trying to be sincere and working with what has been my experience, I would have to say that being Buddhist is to begin a gradual process of understanding as what is the origin of our suffering and unsatisfaction. This process after all, takes place after coming into contact with the Dharma, listening to qualified teachers, studying them and putting them into practice. But, it also is accomplished through becoming and having a valiant and open attitude to confront the astonishing news that the origin of our suffering is not outside of us, no one is to blame for how we're feeling. The origin of our suffering is in ourselves, in our self-centered attitude product of our wrong view of "I" and reality in general.

It has been us, who for since beginningless time has been creating the causes for everything. And, we are also responsible to transform not only the self-centeredness, but also the incorrect cognition like His Holiness called it recently in Mexico while talking about the 8 Verses of Though Transformation.

Now I feel a little more relaxed by understanding that for along time I was incapable of seeing or working out my attachments (definitely amongst many other things I'll take note of and work with). This isn't due to my not being Buddhist, but because I'm working through a process, in which now I'm realizing that I've not been careful with my study, analysis and practice which are very important parts

Finally, for our motivation today, I would like to ask you: Has something similar happened to you as well? Does it seam that you're also neglecting/neglected important parts of your practice? What things would you like to purify in order to work on those aspects?